About Me

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I have been married to my childhood sweetheart for 42 wonderful years. I have been blessed with one daughter who is grown and gone! She and her hubby have blessed us with a precious grandchild, Darbee Rae. She is eight years old and the sunshine in our days. I have always been a stay at home maid, cook, doctor, babysitter, taxi, wife, mother, and grandmother. I enjoy crafting. My interests include primitives, vintage and colonial styles. I love decorating my home. I enjoy traveling with my hubby and friends, reading, and trying different recipes. I am a Christian and enjoy activities within my church. I hope you enjoy reading about my daily adventures in crafting, shopping, and enjoying life thru the eyes of my darling grand daughter.

Friday, May 27, 2011

A Story From My Journal

Hello all my friends.  This post is going to be long but a heartfelt story that I wrote three years ago today as my life took a drastic change.  If you are reading this and have parents that are aging and still own their own home, please take this to heart and talk to them and make whatever changes that need to be made.  My heart is saddened every day as I look across the street and see a home that is no longer ours.  This WAS my parents home .

                                                            
                                                                             The Key

To millions of people, today will be a normal day.  Adults will go to work, children to school and the business world will conduct business as usual.  For me on this warm May day, I am locking memories of a lifetime away in my mind to open only when loneliness overpowers me.  I am selling my parent's homeplace.  This will no longer be the home of my Mother and Daddy

Before the closing, I decided to visit the homeplace for one last time.  With my old key into the lock, I pushed open the door pondering in my mind the many times I had performed this task throughout the years.  Many nights coming in from a date, I would turn the key so quietly and enter into the security of a loving home. When Daddy's health deteriated, we would get calls during the night for help and hurriedly with a racing heart opening the door could not take place fast enought.  When Daddy passed on to heaven, we continured to be there for Mother.  Unlocking the door to take her grocery shopping and to doctor's appointments became a weekly task. As mother grew more feeble, calls from her lifeline monitor came more frequent.  Opening the door not knowing the condition we would find her upon the floor was frightening. Unable to take proper care of her, she now reside in a nursing facitlity where we visit her regularly.

Thus the process began.  Sorting through my parent's personal belongings was not a job I looked forward to.  Then came the estate sale.  Unfamiliar faces pondering over items that meant so much to the two people I loved so dearly was almost unbearable.

Today entering the empty homplace I feel as if part of my life is gone along with the material items that helped to make this house a home. If only these old paneled walls could talk, the stories they could tell.  I closed my eyes and in my mind I could see the old black piano.  As a child, I banged on its key and played church as my dolls sat patiently as my congregation.  Years later, I took lessons on that piano and play the piano in church today.

I could almost smell the scent of a lighted match as the old gas heater was lit in the living room.  The same heater that warmed me as a child still sits in its place where it sat during my childhood.  Christmas mornings the smell from  that heater gave me an overwhelming sense of love and warmth as in the wee hours of the morning, so full of excitment I would wait to see what Santa had left under the tree.  Crawling back into bed between old handmade quilts and snuggling into a feather mattress with the smell of my new plastic baby doll in my arms is a memory I will cherish forever.  Oh for the innocence of youth.

My grandmother lived with us and the memory of her baking during special holidays was a time I grew to love.  Pies, cookies, and home cooked meals filled our house with a delicious aroma. Anticipation of all the happy times sharing our bounty of food with friends and relatives seems like yesterday.  Today, most of those people have passed away but their memories remain.

I began and ended my school years, got married, and years later brought our newborn baby girl from the hospital to her grandparent's home here.  But today, the homeplace has changed.  It's no longer filled with laughter and love but looks tired and lonely.

As I took my memories and walked out, the same old key locked the door behind me.  No longer would I turn the key with anticipation of what I would find inside.  Closing this part of my life was not an easy task.

Yardwork needs to be done, but I looked past the driveway and said a final farewell to the memories of grandchildren playing  there as a loving "PawPaw" looked on with a smile that only a grandparent could wear.

I closed the door knowing the next time I saw the yellow house on the hill, it would belong to a young couple, in love and so excited to purchase their first home.

Today was an emotional day.  This same old key will be passed along to a new family as they begin their journey in the old homeplace.  Our journey has come full circle.  So much can change by the opening and closing of an old door with a key.        The end!

Today has been an emotional day.  Thanks for hanging in with me.  Tomorrow will be a better day and I have lots of pictures to share.  Don't forget if you haven't already to visit my giveaway post and enter my giveaway.  Wishing a great weekend your way.  Until tomorrow...

12 comments:

  1. What a beautiful story and so very true. Dad had a stroke two years ago this month and your whole life can change in 10 short minutes. Instead of moving Mom out, we rented out our home and redid the downstairs at her house and I had to lock the door to my own cherished home. I think I understand how you feel. Hope your weekend is filled with love and happiness, Dawn

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  2. Angela~
    That is so bitterweet, beautiful, and sad all at the same time. I can somewhat empathize, but in a somewhat different way - my mother is still in her own home, but it is a newwer home now. Our old farmstead, however, was just sold (again) two weeks ago. I will be going back with my mother one last time (courtesy of the new owners) - and don't know what emotions to expect when I open (and close) that door one last time.
    Thank you for sharing. Smiles & Hugs ~ Robin

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  3. Angela,
    I know what you are going through. We went through this with my husband's parents and then my mother.
    It is hard to say goodbye. But remember a house is just a house, you take the memories made there with you.
    But God will ease your pain as time goes on. You will have good days and sad. I started a journal for the sad days. When the simplest of things I done in my daily life would remind me of them that's when I would write in my journal.
    It really helps. So just know you are not alone.
    God Bless.
    Tamera
    Country at heart

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  4. Angela ... Your posting brought tears to my eyes. My parents left the home I grew up in many years ago & moved to Florida. Both of them passed away a few years ago & I remember very well going through their things ... like you say, the things that meant so much to them. Although the house my brother & I cleaned out was not the home we grew up in, we still remembered visiting there. My husband & I lived in Florida for several years & our children loved going to grandma's & grandpa's. That last time in the house, everywhere I looked I saw memories ... ghosts from the past. After we moved to another state I would still go down there to visit of course, & the one thing that is etched in my mind is my dad standing at the doorway waving to me as I drove away. After cleaning out the house after their deaths & closing it up for the last time, I drove away & looked, almost expecting to see him standing there waving at me. All of your memories are even more powerful than mine. God bless you. I will pray that He will help you get through this. Blessings, Shirlee

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  5. Wow. This made me cry. You write beautifully! I could feel a little of what you felt. My Mom and Dad got divorced many years ago and when they sold our family home it made me so sad. I ride by there all the time just for the memories. Of course it will never be the same.

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  6. Angela, your touching story took me back many years ago when I too faced this similar fate. Oh, how hard it is to let go of the material things that brought us much pleasure. These are the very items that molded our lives, taught us to laugh cry and to love. Life was simple then and as adults we miss the innocence of the simple ways.
    However, you hinted on the next phase when you said "it will belong to a young couple in love, and so excited to purchase their first home". How comforting to know this house will bring them laughter, love and memories from those walls that speak of days gone by.
    "Memories" can never be taken away, they will comfort us on days like today. Memories are a gift to treasure, they remind us to never let go of the innocence, they reaffirm that life continues on, and when the day is done we know we were loved.
    Bless you for the memories....
    Connie

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  7. You brought tears to my eyes too. I have so many good memories from that house too. I know today has been rough. Just know I am here for you and love you more than you know!

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  8. Dear Friend....Your story has touched my heart. When my Grandmother passed, and the family farm had to be sold, it was very difficult to walk through the front door into her huge farm kitchen. My aunts had all of my grandparents treasures spread throughout the house and the picture has remained with me. It was so hard to walk around from room to room and pick and chose what treasures I wanted to keep. My grandfather and father built the farm and after it was sold, it took me years to be able to drive past it. I feel and understand your sadness. Hugs...
    K

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  9. Such a very touching story, a house full of lovely memories for you..can't think of anything else to say.

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  10. Thank you for sharing friend.
    Sending you a big giant bear hug!!
    thank you for stopping by and sharing on my blog.Your such a sweetie.I soo enjoy your blog.
    Can't wait to fill a big ball jar with my peonies.
    Have a wonderful weekend friend!
    Hugs Granny Trace
    www.grannytracescrapsandsquares.com

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  11. Angela you touched on something that each of us has or will have to do. I too was in your shoes. It hurts so much. Now I am pondering selling my own place and moving where I don't have so much land. It is a very hard decision and I will have the same thoughts on leaving here. Your experience was beautifully written. I am so glad we are blogging buddies!
    betty

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  12. Angela--wish I could give you a big hug! I am sorry that it's so emotional. I can only guess what you are feeling.

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